I will attend night clubs when my other options are shot for the night, or because my friends have found themselves attracted to these particular venues for the night, but as a gentleman who does enjoy banging women, I would say that I have probably picked up two women in all my time going to night clubs. The pick up culture has this over-exaggerated view of how powerful it is to learn their tricks and then go into night clubs and use said tricks. I believe most worthwhile men who have built interesting lifestyles usually avoid nightclubs if they are looking to get laid simply because all your life experiences cannot be conveyed in an environment too loud and dark to display them.
As much as a girl might get vagina tingles at your push and pull techniques, those techniques do not work when the music is so loud she is blankly nodding in hopes you’ll fuck off. In addition, a lot of women automatically engage in deflecting anyone who approaches them no matter who they are in a night club; I assume this to be some ego thing for them. At this stage in my life, I do not care any-more to dedicate energy in trying to overcome women’s deflections, and simply disengage all together by keeping my approaches at a minimal in night clubs. I would prefer to talk to women in an environment where they are receptive to stimulation beyond EDM and party favours.
Simply, unless you are high energy as fuck and willing to be over-persistent, night clubs are a poor venue to get dates/bangs from. The issue with pick up is that many guys who go into it are not at their core these superfluous party animals, and those who act this way going into pick up material probably do so to over compensate for their lack of self worth (no research on this, just anecdotal observation). That is not to say that you cannot get laid at a night club, but unless you’re willing to put in an insane amount of energy (that is often hampered by alcohol consumption), your chances of getting laid are slim.
Now, there are gentlemen who excel at club game. As I said above, being high energy and over persistent works quite well in the club arena, and a slew of respect goes out to gentlemen who can pull doing this. My argument however is that clubs make poor venues for the gentlemen who do not want to follow this over-the-top narrative. Keep in mind the principle of contrast, and how standing out equates to status. Clubs assume a lot, it is assumed that men will generally go to these places to pick up women, and women and men come to expect this narrative as being normal. Unless you are playing the numbers game quite closely, chances are most women will assume you are like every other single male going the club, and thus you do not stand out from any other male there; poor contrast. However, when you approach women with more direct appraisals in more casual contexts, even laid back bars or house parties, women are less expecting of this and in turn look at you as standing out from most men; high contrast. You lose a lot of contrast going to night clubs.
My counter-venue to clubs are simple: house parties. House parties are the best venues for getting laid. You can talk, you can effectively work the room, and women are not naturally expecting men to approach them sexually (like they often are at a night club), and If all else fails, you can lay back and have interesting discussions with others on an array of topics. Night clubs lack all of these variables.
The second alternative to house parties are lounge bars. While they do carry some of the preconceived notions that clubs do (you’re just there to get laid), you must keep in mind that the women who stick around at these places are often looking for some level of stimulating conversation, so even if their guard is up about your sexual intentions, you can still prove yourself by conveying your interesting persona.
This was originally a post of mine on another gentleman’s blog, but I thought this was a worthwhile topic to discuss since I see a large portion of the manosphere still dedicated to club game. In addition, I have edited and added to this post as I see fit.
I like feminine women. I like women who enjoy doing feminine things like taking care of the home, women who laugh with a girly energy, and women who get excited about children. Something about that, to me as a man, excites me. While most of my reports will have you believe that I fuck a lot of women who aren’t the feminine definition that this write up is about, I do spend a considerable amount of time with feminine women, and any level of time I invest in a woman beyond sex is with the feminine ones. Don’t get me wrong, women who challenge the feminine roles fulfil a certain sexual niche for me in that they are usually good one night lays, but unlike feminine women, my time spent courting them beyond sex feels wasted. With the feminine vs. non-feminine dynamic however, comes where most people assume sexual enjoyment is most different. However there is one thing as a budding young gentleman of game that shocked me: women love to fuck. I, like most men, assumed the more feminine the woman the less sexual the woman, which is true on it’s surface, but not at it’s core; women are just as sexual as men are in many ways, but different forces compel them to act a certain way to the outside world.
With feminine women it is usually traditional morals that compel them to appear as wholesome. With non-feminine women, it is usually permissive parenting and feminist ideals that lead them to appear less wholesome. These dynamics serve their own purpose for the up and budding gentleman of game, and that is the more wholesome a woman, the more you will need to invest in having sex with her, and the less wholesome a woman, the less you will need to invest yourself in having sex with her; basic game reiterated. However, beyond investment of time, at their core, both spectrum’s of women share the same traits of what they enjoy sexuality, and that is being desired in a very selfish way.
Now when I say a “very selfish way,” automatically the evil woman narrative takes place in the minds of many gentlemen of game, but I do not believe women to be evil but hard-wired by their emotional compasses and with that compass they make their decisions; that’s why game blogs exist so you can navigate these compasses accordingly. No one (except feminists) call men evil for being hardwired to selfishly seek out certain sexual traits of women, and with that, I do not consider women evil for being controlled by their own selfish sexualities. I believe it was Baumeister who stated that women are the gatekeepers of sex, and therefore hold a lot of power over men in a sexual economy. Men provide women with certain traits (strength, charm, financial stability, etc.), and women respond in turn by giving them sex. I think the most potent of these traits that does not change radically over time for women, is masculinity. A lot of gentlemen of game point to the 50’s as being a time when women took men more seriously and thus “nice guys” could thrive, but I disagree. The men of the 50’s era were still men, and built a system that rewarded women for being good wives and mothers, and punished them for straying from that narrative; this was raw masculinity rewarding raw femininity. Things have obviously changed, and feminine women of today are echoes of their traditional parents, and non-feminine women are loud speakers for a new movement that attempts to redefine femininity (see: feminism). So, masculinity is the trait that women, feminine or not, desire most, and women want to be desired by masculine men.
When women read romantic novels you would be hard pressed to find a novel about a insecure skinny nerd who is the lead male in the novel. Normally these novels include a mysterious lead who displays some level of raw masculinity that she literally cannot resist. Shifting from the romantic novel we can look towards music. The popular songs amongst women is typically about a high status man (see: the rich ass singer singing the song) who desires a girl that he just MUST have. Even on the flipside of things, when a woman is making music, Taylor Swift for example, it is about that man who got away, or the man she loved dearly but is no longer going to speak to, etc. Women make up large demographics who enjoy those styles of music because it appeals to a very selfish part of them, and that is being desired romantically.
When you as a man can be reflective of that desire that a woman feels when she listens to shitty Taylor Swift songs, or when she reads romantic novels, you will unlock something very special in her, and that is her true sexual nature. When a woman is unlocked in this way, you learn something profound: women love to fuck. When I speak to some gentlemen about a wholesome girl I convinced to try anal or pushed to have a threesome, they seem dumbfounded. “She didn’t seem like that type of girl” is the typical response I get. The thing is, this “type of girl” ideology is silly, because I am convinced that once I make a girl feel that lust associated with desire, after a bit of time, sexually, she will be whatever “type of girl” I want her to be. The truth is women find all sorts of sexual fantasies and oddities just as exciting as you do, but the more wholesome the girl the less likely she is going readily express this to you or the outside world.
An old high school crush of mine and I started talking years after I got over my fear of speaking to women. After awhile I had finally bedded her. Sleeping with her was when I really started to understand the true sexual nature of women. She was one of the wildest sexual partners I ever had, and afterwards I asked myself, “who did I just fuck?” I could have never imagined that she was into sex like she was when I was in high school. I used to think that only the less-wholesome women could fuck the way she did. She certainly still seemed wholesome. Obviously I pushed for a lot of crazy shit with her, but I realized after this that no matter what woman you are having sex with, once you have unlocked, she will respond sexually in ways you never imagined. Some men initially respond to women having the same sexual desires as men as being proof that they are all whores; I think that is a brash way of putting it. Instead, this is the secret about women that for me, made them that much more exciting.
The men who enjoyed sexual success in high school with an array of women did so because of their understanding of the true sexual nature of women. They knew that wholesome or not, any girl enjoyed the sexual exploration and perversions that they did. When I talk to my more conservative beta bitch boy friends about my sexual escapades, they respond in shock that a woman who they thought was “so nice” would partake in such a thing. These beta bitch boys have not unlocked their sexual partners, and will forever see women as something they deep down inside are not. Meanwhile guys like me who understand that women truly enjoy sexual experiences beyond missionary will continue to enjoy the sex life I want.
People who oppose affirmative consent are being categorized as patriarchal drones and/or closet rapists by many feminists, and I am aware that by trying to be critical of something the feminist movement is currently championing, I too will be potentially labelled as such. However, I am not writing this for feminism, or to even really challenge proprietors of feminism, but I am writing this for the critical minded gentleman who may or may not agree with the push for affirmative consent. For those who have not heard of the current push for affirmative consent, it is the concept that in order for partners to proceed towards sex, the person engaging in sex (the man presumably) must acquire an explicit yes before the passionate encounter can escalate towards sex. Opposer’s to the affirmative consent movement often cling to the grey area argument, and that is that sexual interactions are not cut and dry, and instances such as ‘heat of the moment’ interactions can lead partners to engaging in sex without much forethought, or mixed signals from both parties can lead to partners engaging in sex without fully verbalizing what is happening and lead to terrible implications (see: rape). Many opponents (see: feminism) of the grey area argument view it as a result of men not understanding women and what women want, and view the grey area argument as an ideology fuelled by rape culture. The issue with the affirmative consent argument is that there are flaws to both sides of the debate. Some men do misconstrue obvious signals when trying to obtain sex and this can lead to devastating consequences for both parties involved, but with that being said, many feminists have a large disconnect between sex and the biological realities that drive it. That is why I cannot support affirmative consent, but I can support some variation of cultural understanding between both parties in regards to sex.
EverydayFeminism.Com has a article entitled Debunking the “Gray Area” Myth, and while there are some valid points to be found within this article, there are also some silly ones that need to be addressed. There are three out of six points I agree with on Everyday Feminism’s write up; I agree with the argument that men should not rape because a woman is dressed a certain way; that is reasonable and certainly should considered rape if a man believes he is entitled to that woman’s sugar walls simply because she is dressed a certain way. In addition, if a woman flirts with you, you are also not entitled to sex based on this factor alone. Lastly, being owed sex simply because you are dating does not entitle you to use your girl’s sugar walls freely, and if done forcefully, it is rape. These three points brought up in Everyday Feminism’s article are all points I can side with. Forcing of sex is not right in any circumstance, and that is infact rape. So, this leaves three points that Everyday Feminism brings up that I do not agree with.
Everyday Feminism’s point that, “They kept saying ‘no’ but eventually said ‘yes'” make sense from a non-critical view of human nature because presumably this could be a product of force and the yes was acquired out of brute deception, but that would be removing ourselves from reality. You see, when I was a budding young gentleman of game I encountered a situation similar to this where the female kept resisting and eventually I stopped, and hoped that we could potentially make sticky at a later date. That date never came. I asked a friend who was closer to this female than I was on why she was no longer interested, and my friend responded, “because you weren’t persistent enough.” Now, we could conclude that this is a small fraction of women that do this and hand Everyday Feminism an award in human enlightenment, but in my experience, and the experience of other men, this is not a small fraction of women. Even more confusing is that these same women, when pushed to eventually have sex, will usually continue to have sex with the same person who pressured them the first time. Now of course, because you need to spell it out for feminists or automatically their minds jump to catastrophe (see: rape), if she is clearly uncomfortable by your advances, – moving away, disgusted when you touch her, pushing you away at the slightest motion towards her, and trying to leave but you won’t let her, etc. – but you still force your dick inside, then you are raping my friend. However, if she continues to stay, and accepts your continuing escalation (by physically responding by appearing aroused) despite verbalizing her disagreement with what is happening, then she is enjoying the escalation. Feminists will instantly pull out the, “you are saying women do not know what they want” card, and well, that is exactly what I am saying. This same scenario has happened to me more times than I can count, and approximately zero times was I accused of rape – the majority of these women actively liked me after.
The second point Everyday Feminism brings up is “They didn’t say ‘no’…” Here is a primer to prevent budding gentlemen from rapism: If you force your dick in without any sort of interaction, then it is rape. The issue with this point is that it does not root itself in reality. I have had several instances where the passion was so high after a night of courtship, and it lead the female and I to making out, and as they say “one thing lead to another,” and we ended up having sex. No where in that process did we communicate active consent, it was just assumed. I guess the intervals where the woman asked me “do you have a condom?” implied that I was a vicious rapist and she was asking me to stop, or maybe I am just socially retarded.
Lastly, Everyday Feminism asserts “We were both wasted, but we both really wanted it.” This is a muddy point because Everyday Feminism half implies that there is a normative process of people engaging in intercourse drunk, but again as my handy little primer states: if you force your dick in without any sort of interaction, then it is rape. If she is passed the fuck out, do not do some scumbag shit and rail her, but if she is drunk but coherent, and you also are drunk but coherent, and passion leads you to potential pussy, then go for it sir. However, the issue here is that feminists have a presumption that men are responsible for sex when drunk and even if equally drunk, he is always the victimizer. So I guess Everyday Feminism believes you can circumvent this issue by giving affirmative consent, but again, refer to points one and two, these ideas have no basis in reality in conjunction with female desire. The logic of making sure you are in the clear to engage in intercourse is sound, but it goes against female desire.
Women want to be desired, and there is a masculine component, that whether or not it is socially conditioned or biologically programmed, that states men lead and women follow. Men asking if they can proceed with the sex that both parties so dearly want is not masculine, that is putting the realm of sexual desire as a power women have control over, and thus this negates their interest in proceeding with sex. The only way I could say that Everyday Feminism is right in their support of affirmative consent is if you as a man are so socially retarded that you cannot decipher a woman being uncomfortable vs. a woman being primed and ready for sex. So, then of course, affirmative consent has a place for a small fraction of socially retarded men, but the majority have a different idea about sex, and the model of affirmative consent does not fit into that idea at all. Alternatively, I should ask Everyday Feminism why the onus is not for women to lead sexual interactions from now on? Why do they not gain male consent? By this logic, I could argue those times a woman pulled my cock out and started riding me, WITH ZERO CONSENT (brb, PTSD), raped me. Such arguments would sound silly, but they fit in line with the eqaulist ideology that affirmative consenters feel is gospel… or maybe feminism has been working towards making women immune to any sort of judgement or punishment when it comes to sexual choices… No, that cannot be it, I’m just crazy.
Safe gaming gentlemen.
I remember a female friend of mine back in high school told me I was ugly. She told me I was a nerd and that maybe one day I would be attractive. Maybe. That lingered with me, and that pain followed me for a long time. I remember feeling a crippling anxiety take over me. I went to my house, sauntered past my mother, went into my bedroom and balled my eyes out. I remember going to sleep right after my cry-fest and waking up with a outlook I did not want to believe: I was a fucking chump; some lame mother-fucking clown was what I became to women. I hit rock bottom, my confidence plummeted for awhile here, more than it already was, but something changed inside me. I was fucking pissed. Not only at her, but at myself, and at my station in life.
During my high school year, I wasn’t unpopular, but I wasn’t the guy girls were swooning over either. The girls who showed interest in me were just as awkward as I was, not to mention they were far from lookers. I suffered from crippling anxiety, getting up in the morning and knowing I’d have to face people made my stomach turn. This anxiety became a shitty cycle however, because I felt like over talking and being obnoxious would alleviate the anxiety, and when someone would call me out for being annoying as fuck, I would linger on that persons comments for months, and this would make my anxiety worse; this same cycle continued to repeat itself throughout high school. I remember a girl asking me a basic question, a girl who I had only spoken to a handful of times prior, and I responded with “your mom” because I thought this would get her to laugh and like me. She looked confused, and told me “you’re weird.” I remember lingering on that feeling of being called weird for almost a year, and wondering what it was I was doing wrong with women, and people in general. See, at this time anxiety was not something I understood beyond it being a natural state of who I was; this state kept me in a rut of fear and awkwardness. That girl who called me ugly though, she really helped put things into a different perspective, she made me realize that everything I was doing was wrong, that my approach of being obnoxious and over talkative was not attractive, that my slender frame was weak, my ideologies were weak, and my overall approach to life, was weak.
I woke up from that nap, and realized I needed to change. It wasn’t an over night process, this took years for me. One of the first things I did was quit this silly vegetarian diet I had been on for almost ten years, which turned out to be one of the best choices I have ever made; at this point I always worked out, but starting to get more protein intake from meat sources made me rapidly bulk up. Within less than a year, I went from a scrawny little guy to being large and muscular. This change in size built a level of confidence I didn’t have before, and I started becoming less fearful of others. In addition to these body changes, I started focusing on my style. I bought more fitted clothes, wore nice shoes, and ditched the glasses. Ditching the glasses, like becoming a meat eater again, was a paramount change. Turns out the same frames I wore since I was ten up until that point really narrowed my face out, and made my eyes look weird. Wearing contacts showed off my eyes, and started to give my face a more shapely look. For the first time in my life, I felt attractive. Fresh off my new found confidence, I started to realize that all these ideas I had about people and the world were wrong; I started to face things head on and when I did, I realized my fears were irrational. The more I feared something, the more I pushed myself to approach it. Now, while the physical changes helped, this battle was still mostly a psychological one, and even with approaching situations head on, I still had the lingering insecurities that I was not good enough, that I was ugly, that I was weak. It sounds weird, but reading seemed to help me get over these insecurities. I started learning many social-oriented subjects (Psychology, Endocrinology, Criminology, etc) on my own, feeling like I was becoming a better human each time I discovered something new about these subjects, because I realized I was able to relate a lot of these ideas to myself.
Still, it was not enough just to become more physically attractive and more intelligent, and while what I’m about to say may sound unconventional, I needed validation. I started getting female attention for the first time in my life at around 19. I remember staring into her eyes fantasizing about how much I wanted to fuck her, we made out for awhile, and I started undressing her. She stops my advances, looks at me, and tells me “You’re really hot, but I don’t want you thinking I’m easy.” I know this seems trivial, but hearing that a girl thought I was hot, it became an addiction. It became an addiction to know I was attractive, to know I was worth it. Of course, the issue here is that it’s easy to get into a rut of only ever being valuable when people give you value, and that’s what happened for a time. I think though, I needed that time to build myself up to the person I am now. In a way, I needed to get the validation that I wasn’t a loser from every girl I met in order to get over the invalidation of the first girl who called me ugly.
I saw the girl who called me ugly a couple years after I set my change in motion. I remember thinking to myself, “I’ve progressed so much, do you think she’ll call you those things now? Do you think she’ll comment on how much you’ve changed?” I spoke to her briefly, expecting her to comment on my large frame, my confident posture, and tasteful style, and she did not say anything about any of these changes. In fact, she was completely indifferent to my changes. I left and realized something profound, that moment that set all of these moments into motion, was insignificant to her. A moment that triggered positive moments for myself, meant nothing to her. This realization was the final puzzle piece in getting over myself, and realizing validation meant nothing. I finally saw that validation was nothing, and that you can only count on yourself for happiness.
I think back to that day of that girl calling me ugly, and ask myself how I would handle something like that if it happened now?
I’d give her a cold stare, and move on with my life.
I have covered openers and the philosophies behind talking to women in the bulk of my writing, but what do you do mid-game? Sure the vibes are going well, but how can you turn it up a notch and make that interaction fun and eventually sexual? Well, I like to play juvenile games and treat the interaction as a matter of self amusement. I bet the gentleman of game inside you is getting giddy much like the females I use these games on do, so I bet you’re asking,”Mr. Backwards, what games do I play? How do I stay self amused?”
Note: Just because I’m the best, I’ve underlined when I start talking about said game. Love you guys. No homo.
I always like to start my games with a preliminary question, like, “you should chug your drink,” to which she responds, “I don’t know” and then you respond, “I’ll rock, paper, scissors you for it, If you win, I have to chug, If I win, you have to chug!” and you hold your fist up and look her directly in the eyes. Strong body language is key here, and NEVER back down with your game request; any girl who does not want to be playful with you, especially during something so juvenile like rock, paper, scissors, is not worth your time. Seriously. Any-ways once you have her playing it she’ll be laughing, and if she does win, tell her you’re using international rules and that it’s best of three. Chug or not, I usually play this and make more requests until it gets gradually more sexual. “If I win this game, you have to make out with me.” I’m a pretty damn good rock, paper, scissors player, but lets say I do lose, which in the rarest of occasions I have, I’ll say “Even though you cheated, I still want my kiss” and move in for it anyway. Sweet. Keep in mind, don’t be playing these games and suddenly shift to “LETS MAKE OUT,” start with basic questions, or requests, and then build your way up. I usually get her primed for my beautiful make out session by asking her sexual questions “If I win, you tell me the first guy you ever kissed, if you win, you can pick a super personal question about me!” and keep going until the stakes get higher, and higher.
Alternatively, I love to have thumb wars. This is good because you get her close to you with her hand grabbing your hand, and the playfulness of this game gets her feeling vibes of you being boyfriend material, and boyfriend material means your cock will be in her in no time. In addition to both games, a good conversational builder is truth or dare. Keep in mind, some more daring women will try to dare you into ridiculous things, which may or may not be your cup of tea, but in that case set preliminary rules or dare her to do even more ridiculous shit in return. I have the most fun with truth or dare a lone with a chick when she’s on my couch, but if you’re really outgoing, playing truth or dare at a bar can be exciting and a quick route to getting her on your cock.
In the event you encounter a “I’m a really strong person” type of feminist chick, I always challenge her to an arm wrestle. Obviously I’ll dominate her, and granted you’re not one-hundred and twenty pounds you will to, and it’s funny and subconsciously gets her thinking about how strong you are, which is a manly trait and manly traits = sex appeal. This is a lesser game, and I suggest only pulling this out if the girl is constantly trying to act like a man, but it’s fun and gets the vibes going.
Lastly, all these games should never be taken serious and should serve as self amusement. If you are taking these games beyond “this is stupid fourth grade fun” then you’re doing it wrong and stepping into a realm of being lame in her eyes. Laugh at the stupidity of it, but stand your ground when playing it. Girls who play these games know they’re stupid, but the stupid fun they have with them gets them feeling closer and connected to you and look at you as their go-to guy for excitement. The best part about little games like this is that even if you do not know how to be incredibly exciting, these can fill that void and will get her feeling like you are exciting.
Always keep in mind, when you play childish games and do it from a place of self amusement, you turn the game into a game, and not only will you have fun, but so will she and that’s the route needed to part her pussy.
Many gentlemen who are just entering game often ask me “what do I say?” or, “I can say something witty at first, but then I don’t know what to say? Where do I go from there?” I think one of the biggest issues I always had with learning game, was because game changed my outlook on things, I wanted to follow these complicated conversational systems (Mystery, Juggler, etc.) and did not want to go off track because I had so much faith in those systems. The issue with trying to memorize these conversational patterns is that in the heat of the moment you are not able to easily recall your pre-memorized story, or magic sentence that you were told will get her to make out with you. So with that being said, what do CAN and SHOULD you do?
You Can Open With Anything
Let us start with the opener. When I first started this whole talking to women thing, I had many canned openers, and they were effective, but they weren’t reflective of me as a person. So, I go to the Pick Up Artist Forums and I ask some gentlemen other alternatives to the standard canned approach hoping that I will be thrown a golden all-in-wonder line… Many of the older gentlemen said, “It does not matter, you can open with anything.” At the time I did not know what “opening with anything” meant because I believed human interactions followed such a linear process and that surely something stupid or out of the norm would not work… Until one drunken night I told a girl she was sexy as fuck and pulled her into a make out soon after. The high I got from being able to open so easy really got me into a “I don’t give a fuck what I say” zone that night and I tried other things. Remember: even if what you say after the initial opener does not match it’s content, as long as you can get her attention in the first place, she will respond positively throughout your interaction. Another example of what I use is, “He… Ho… Ar… Yo…?” I half say the word and hold my hand out ready to shake hers. She usually stares at me looking puzzled, but every time I’ve used this opener, it has grabbed a woman’s attention. If you are not feeling creative, then simply use “Hi.” that yields similar results.
Summary: Anything that comes to your mind when seeing a woman qualifies as a good opener. If you cannot think of anything, hit her with something simple like “Hi.”
Interview Questions Are Not All That Bad (Be Ridiculous)
What I am about to say is slightly dangerous, but bare with me. In a lot of pick up circles and even in popular mainstream media you hear dating experts telling you not to ask standard first date or general interview questions. That is true to an extent. However, I fall back on interview questions more often than not, and I make them work. How? Well, I turn it into a humorous “I don’t take you serious” question process. Where-as most gentlemen will ask, “So what do you do for a living?” and the girl will respond with “I work at a coffee house,” I’ll use this structure and make it funny. How do I do this? Instead of being a beta bitch boy who dries up vaginas by responding with a standard line like “do you like it?” type of response I twist it around and turn the whole question into a playful vibe-building joke. So, with that being said, I would respond with “Do you work at the coffee times down the street? Because I’m pretty sure you spilt coffee on me last time I went in,” followed by a cocky smile of course. She will probably laugh and give you a “No!” response, to which you continue being playful and call her an ass-hole, etc. etc. sex.
Summary: Always look for the absurd in her responses and do not be afraid to confidently throw those absurd thoughts at her.
The Power Of “Why?”
Many gentlemen of game preach that you should challenge women. The idea of challenging women however, is quite simple. ALWAYS ask why. Even for menial shit, asking WHY she does things forces her to actually be critical of herself and in a subconscious way she now has to prove herself to you making you the more valuable person in the interaction. So, continuing from my last example, after teasing her about spilling coffee on you, ask her, “Why do you work at a coffee house?” It’s that simple fellows, and If you are feeling more daring, then be ridiculous and say “Why do you work at a coffee house? Other than to fulfil your sick fantasy of spilling coffee on attractive men…” Of course, I don’t advise trailing off your question that often, but it adds a nice comical touch to your conversation and builds and spreads great vibes. Another example I can use of a good why question is “Why are you out tonight?” or after she has told me why she likes a particular drink ask her, “Why do you like drinking so much hard liquor?” These are basic why questions and are excellent starting points, and they will most definitely push the girl into your favour.
Summary: ALWAYS ask a girl why, “Why do you wear such vibrant clothing?” “Why do you study kinesiology?” “Why are you so cold to people who are cooler than you?” etc. etc. sex.
Conversation should not be forced like some pick up gentleman may have you believe, but it should feel natural and mutually good for you and the female you are speaking to. These three conversational rules are far easier than reciting canned responses to women, and I can say with confidence these all work towards giving you good grounding when speaking to a woman or group of women. As always, I do not suggest tackling every single variable of this article at once, but to go out and try as much of it as you can until it works for you.
When I started learning game I was convinced that in order to do my first approach that I needed to know every aspect of the interaction, down to the girls hand movements, before I could succeed. After reading book upon book, I finally did my first approach… It sucked and I even I told myself, “but you know every aspect of game, what women want, why did this go so bad?” It later realized that it was because I tried to stuff every single element of game into one interaction without actually having practiced any one of those elements individually.
This is when I started to learn game naturally. I would approach women, almost ignoring my pick up teachings, and hope for the best. Then, if something did not work, I would look to pick up books to help me iron those issues out and would slowly add that element to my arsenal if I felt it worked. I no longer treated pick up books as bibles, but more like shared experiences that other gentlemen have had, and if I felt that an element (opener or behavior) I learned from the book fit my personality, then I would use it.
New gentleman to game often times glorify one pick up artists and feel as if they owe their livelihood to that method of game. There is some merit to this as some gentlemen do experience success, but that very success is hollow. The system is only a system, and they simply become a cog in making it work. They do not find fulfillment in the end because their true nature, whether that be a nerd who loves programming or a gentleman who obsesses over chess, is hidden behind a mask. They are only projecting a show for women, and not projecting the core of themselves.
True confidence will derive from you learning things on your own, taking risks on your own and ultimately not being afraid of who you are as a person. Some gentlemen will rag on you, some women will laugh at you, but the only thing that matters here is how you handle it. Do not hide your interests because a woman thinks that is lame, or because your man friend tells you it is not attractive, but embrace it and embrace it whole-heartedly and people will respect you for it. Now, the irony here is that you will gain some confidence from the new found knowledge you have gained in reading pick up articles/books, and I myself preach certain elements, but you should only take these elements if they fit the core of who you are as a person.
When I meet a girl I do not focus on displaying higher value, I do not focus on if she is sending me indicators of interest, but I focus on stimulating conversation and reflect on how I would have displayed higher value or gotten her to be more interested later. If you saw my game in action you would think it is pretty straight forward, and I have been accused of only getting successes with women because of my looks. That is far from the truth. All I do is project myself in a confident manner, and women like that. When you do not adhere to a script, you learn game organically and naturally, and to some degree you are forced to put your personality into it, because your personality is all you have to fall back on; not canned scripts. That honesty helps you build not only confidence, but game.
This is not a write-up to take away from great gentlemen of game, because there are certainly excellent methods out there to getting successes with women, but when you turn those pick up teachings into an all-you-have ideology, then you are losing sight of yourself and your game will only fulfill a script, and not who you are as a person.
Try this, approach without a goal in mind, just try approaching without using canned materials or systems you have seen on YouTube, and say whatever comes to mind. What’s up is even a suitable opener in this case. You will be on your own for this approach, and you might say things you are not used to, but here you will find honesty and through honesty you will feel a sense of fulfillment that is beyond the core of masking your true self.