I will attend night clubs when my other options are shot for the night, or because my friends have found themselves attracted to these particular venues for the night, but as a gentleman who does enjoy banging women, I would say that I have probably picked up two women in all my time going to night clubs. The pick up culture has this over-exaggerated view of how powerful it is to learn their tricks and then go into night clubs and use said tricks. I believe most worthwhile men who have built interesting lifestyles usually avoid nightclubs if they are looking to get laid simply because all your life experiences cannot be conveyed in an environment too loud and dark to display them.
As much as a girl might get vagina tingles at your push and pull techniques, those techniques do not work when the music is so loud she is blankly nodding in hopes you’ll fuck off. In addition, a lot of women automatically engage in deflecting anyone who approaches them no matter who they are in a night club; I assume this to be some ego thing for them. At this stage in my life, I do not care any-more to dedicate energy in trying to overcome women’s deflections, and simply disengage all together by keeping my approaches at a minimal in night clubs. I would prefer to talk to women in an environment where they are receptive to stimulation beyond EDM and party favours.
Simply, unless you are high energy as fuck and willing to be over-persistent, night clubs are a poor venue to get dates/bangs from. The issue with pick up is that many guys who go into it are not at their core these superfluous party animals, and those who act this way going into pick up material probably do so to over compensate for their lack of self worth (no research on this, just anecdotal observation). That is not to say that you cannot get laid at a night club, but unless you’re willing to put in an insane amount of energy (that is often hampered by alcohol consumption), your chances of getting laid are slim.
Now, there are gentlemen who excel at club game. As I said above, being high energy and over persistent works quite well in the club arena, and a slew of respect goes out to gentlemen who can pull doing this. My argument however is that clubs make poor venues for the gentlemen who do not want to follow this over-the-top narrative. Keep in mind the principle of contrast, and how standing out equates to status. Clubs assume a lot, it is assumed that men will generally go to these places to pick up women, and women and men come to expect this narrative as being normal. Unless you are playing the numbers game quite closely, chances are most women will assume you are like every other single male going the club, and thus you do not stand out from any other male there; poor contrast. However, when you approach women with more direct appraisals in more casual contexts, even laid back bars or house parties, women are less expecting of this and in turn look at you as standing out from most men; high contrast. You lose a lot of contrast going to night clubs.
My counter-venue to clubs are simple: house parties. House parties are the best venues for getting laid. You can talk, you can effectively work the room, and women are not naturally expecting men to approach them sexually (like they often are at a night club), and If all else fails, you can lay back and have interesting discussions with others on an array of topics. Night clubs lack all of these variables.
The second alternative to house parties are lounge bars. While they do carry some of the preconceived notions that clubs do (you’re just there to get laid), you must keep in mind that the women who stick around at these places are often looking for some level of stimulating conversation, so even if their guard is up about your sexual intentions, you can still prove yourself by conveying your interesting persona.
This was originally a post of mine on another gentleman’s blog, but I thought this was a worthwhile topic to discuss since I see a large portion of the manosphere still dedicated to club game. In addition, I have edited and added to this post as I see fit.
When you settle down with a woman, granted you are actually the man of the relationship, you will enter a world of constant affection and love. A man will feed her the masculine energy that she needs to make herself feel feminine. Your radiation of masculinity will feed her femininity in such a way that you will become more attractive to her as time passes. The sad truth here however, is that no matter how feminine she is, no matter how attractive she is, time will only lead to boredom, and boredom will lead to your need for variety.
That is the male relationship curse.
No matter how much your girlfriend or wife loves you, the fantasy of other women will always haunt you, and while you fantasize about the young, big-titted brunette at your work, your girl will be fantasizing about her future with you, and fantasize about how hard you, and only you, can fuck her. While you fuck her, you will wish she was the young brunette, and it is not because the young brunette is necessarily better looking than your current girl, but because she is different, because she is new, and because her pussy remains a mystery to your cock. As a man you will always be trying to unlock that mystery with every attractive female you encounter, and as a taken man you will feel guilty for feeling that way. It makes sense to feel guilty too, after all your current girl does not look at other men with the same fondness that she does for you, and she does not build sexual fantasies around these men, but she constantly fantasizes about you. You however, you treat the big-titted brunette with such fondness, a fondness you gave your current girl when you first dated, and you fantasize about the big-titted brunette the same way your current girl fantasizes about you.
You do not act on your impulses to fuck the big-titted brunette at a staff party, no, you reassure yourself that you are more attracted to your girl anyways. Then you stumble home that night to go and fuck your girl, and regret not having fucked the big-titted brunette, and you regret it even more because you knew you could have gotten away with it too. After forcing yourself to climax your libido dies down and you become indifferent to the idea of having sex with the big-titted brunette… Until the next time you are horny and you regret not having slept with the big-titted brunette.
You will cushion the regret by telling yourself that you could have slept with her if you wanted to, and you will then try to reinforce that belief by telling yourself that you did it out of underlying faithfulness and because you love your girl, and only her. Your girl will probably never know that the act of infidelity was even on your mind, and she will probably never know that you struggled to hold your penis back from an attractive twenty-something brunette with large tits. She just assumed that those thoughts would not cross your mind and she trusts you enough to know that you would hold your self back against other women.
Your girl will never understand how hard it is for you not to make advances on another woman. She will never understand how much you fantasize about the big-titted brunette and she most certainly will never understand how you try your hardest to bury it deep down inside, but still your urge to fuck other women resurfaces. Monogamy has cursed men with the what-if factor. Men will always wonder what-if when it comes to other women, and this will never make sense to a woman. She believes that your variety for sex is a personality flaw, not a biological must, and by sticking to that belief she will never believe that the man she loves is flawed, and that is why it is in your best interest to never let her know about your true nature.
When you choose the monogamous route, you will always be cursed with the what-if factor, and it will always bite at your masculinity. It might not take large bites all at once, but it will take small bites that slowly add up to a cracked image of what you once were. Now, there are advantages to being in a relationship, and you will always melt to the feeling of knowing that someone constantly cares about you, but those advantages slowly start to seem dull in comparison to a fresh piece of pussy.
The ailment to this curse is of course going for that fresh piece of pussy, and when you realize this you take a large dose of the ailment and finally fuck the big-titted brunette. You will feel that guilt that you first felt when you started fantasizing about the big-titted brunette, and that guilt will amplify ten-fold when you recollect and realize how loyal your girl is to you. For awhile, you might decide not to sleep with another woman again, and for awhile this one act of infidelity will help you cope with the curse, and it might even make you appreciate your current girl a bit more. You will be satisfied with your girl for a small time… until you notice the new athletic-blond who moved in next door. That same feeling you got with the big-titted brunette will creep up and all of a sudden you are now fantasizing about the athletic-blond.
Your love for your girl never changes, she is still the predominant female in your life, but your need for variety trumps your love. A couple months have passed and your girl still does not know a thing about what happened between you and the big-titted brunette, and this will simultaneously scare you but comfort you. That feeling of comfort will fuel you to pursue the athletic-blond, and maybe you decide to fuck her. The stakes are no longer revolving around your loyalty for your girl and the guilt associated with it, but the stakes are now centered around never getting caught.
Unlike your inability to bury your feelings for more pussy, you learn to bury your feelings of guilt when it comes to your loyal girlfriend. Being able to bury that part of you now allows you to fuck the athletic-blond and proceed as if nothing happened in the first place. After fucking her the guilt slightly creeps up, but it is not as bad this time, you start to accept the fact that you will want to do this behind your girls back and that acceptance helps you repair parts of your cracked masculinity. Your only fear now is getting caught, but that won’t happen right?
Because if you keep cheating on your girl, and you never get caught, it is like the curse does not exist in the first place…