I will attend night clubs when my other options are shot for the night, or because my friends have found themselves attracted to these particular venues for the night, but as a gentleman who does enjoy banging women, I would say that I have probably picked up two women in all my time going to night clubs. The pick up culture has this over-exaggerated view of how powerful it is to learn their tricks and then go into night clubs and use said tricks. I believe most worthwhile men who have built interesting lifestyles usually avoid nightclubs if they are looking to get laid simply because all your life experiences cannot be conveyed in an environment too loud and dark to display them.
As much as a girl might get vagina tingles at your push and pull techniques, those techniques do not work when the music is so loud she is blankly nodding in hopes you’ll fuck off. In addition, a lot of women automatically engage in deflecting anyone who approaches them no matter who they are in a night club; I assume this to be some ego thing for them. At this stage in my life, I do not care any-more to dedicate energy in trying to overcome women’s deflections, and simply disengage all together by keeping my approaches at a minimal in night clubs. I would prefer to talk to women in an environment where they are receptive to stimulation beyond EDM and party favours.
Simply, unless you are high energy as fuck and willing to be over-persistent, night clubs are a poor venue to get dates/bangs from. The issue with pick up is that many guys who go into it are not at their core these superfluous party animals, and those who act this way going into pick up material probably do so to over compensate for their lack of self worth (no research on this, just anecdotal observation). That is not to say that you cannot get laid at a night club, but unless you’re willing to put in an insane amount of energy (that is often hampered by alcohol consumption), your chances of getting laid are slim.
Now, there are gentlemen who excel at club game. As I said above, being high energy and over persistent works quite well in the club arena, and a slew of respect goes out to gentlemen who can pull doing this. My argument however is that clubs make poor venues for the gentlemen who do not want to follow this over-the-top narrative. Keep in mind the principle of contrast, and how standing out equates to status. Clubs assume a lot, it is assumed that men will generally go to these places to pick up women, and women and men come to expect this narrative as being normal. Unless you are playing the numbers game quite closely, chances are most women will assume you are like every other single male going the club, and thus you do not stand out from any other male there; poor contrast. However, when you approach women with more direct appraisals in more casual contexts, even laid back bars or house parties, women are less expecting of this and in turn look at you as standing out from most men; high contrast. You lose a lot of contrast going to night clubs.
My counter-venue to clubs are simple: house parties. House parties are the best venues for getting laid. You can talk, you can effectively work the room, and women are not naturally expecting men to approach them sexually (like they often are at a night club), and If all else fails, you can lay back and have interesting discussions with others on an array of topics. Night clubs lack all of these variables.
The second alternative to house parties are lounge bars. While they do carry some of the preconceived notions that clubs do (you’re just there to get laid), you must keep in mind that the women who stick around at these places are often looking for some level of stimulating conversation, so even if their guard is up about your sexual intentions, you can still prove yourself by conveying your interesting persona.
This was originally a post of mine on another gentleman’s blog, but I thought this was a worthwhile topic to discuss since I see a large portion of the manosphere still dedicated to club game. In addition, I have edited and added to this post as I see fit.
I like feminine women. I like women who enjoy doing feminine things like taking care of the home, women who laugh with a girly energy, and women who get excited about children. Something about that, to me as a man, excites me. While most of my reports will have you believe that I fuck a lot of women who aren’t the feminine definition that this write up is about, I do spend a considerable amount of time with feminine women, and any level of time I invest in a woman beyond sex is with the feminine ones. Don’t get me wrong, women who challenge the feminine roles fulfil a certain sexual niche for me in that they are usually good one night lays, but unlike feminine women, my time spent courting them beyond sex feels wasted. With the feminine vs. non-feminine dynamic however, comes where most people assume sexual enjoyment is most different. However there is one thing as a budding young gentleman of game that shocked me: women love to fuck. I, like most men, assumed the more feminine the woman the less sexual the woman, which is true on it’s surface, but not at it’s core; women are just as sexual as men are in many ways, but different forces compel them to act a certain way to the outside world.
With feminine women it is usually traditional morals that compel them to appear as wholesome. With non-feminine women, it is usually permissive parenting and feminist ideals that lead them to appear less wholesome. These dynamics serve their own purpose for the up and budding gentleman of game, and that is the more wholesome a woman, the more you will need to invest in having sex with her, and the less wholesome a woman, the less you will need to invest yourself in having sex with her; basic game reiterated. However, beyond investment of time, at their core, both spectrum’s of women share the same traits of what they enjoy sexuality, and that is being desired in a very selfish way.
Now when I say a “very selfish way,” automatically the evil woman narrative takes place in the minds of many gentlemen of game, but I do not believe women to be evil but hard-wired by their emotional compasses and with that compass they make their decisions; that’s why game blogs exist so you can navigate these compasses accordingly. No one (except feminists) call men evil for being hardwired to selfishly seek out certain sexual traits of women, and with that, I do not consider women evil for being controlled by their own selfish sexualities. I believe it was Baumeister who stated that women are the gatekeepers of sex, and therefore hold a lot of power over men in a sexual economy. Men provide women with certain traits (strength, charm, financial stability, etc.), and women respond in turn by giving them sex. I think the most potent of these traits that does not change radically over time for women, is masculinity. A lot of gentlemen of game point to the 50’s as being a time when women took men more seriously and thus “nice guys” could thrive, but I disagree. The men of the 50’s era were still men, and built a system that rewarded women for being good wives and mothers, and punished them for straying from that narrative; this was raw masculinity rewarding raw femininity. Things have obviously changed, and feminine women of today are echoes of their traditional parents, and non-feminine women are loud speakers for a new movement that attempts to redefine femininity (see: feminism). So, masculinity is the trait that women, feminine or not, desire most, and women want to be desired by masculine men.
When women read romantic novels you would be hard pressed to find a novel about a insecure skinny nerd who is the lead male in the novel. Normally these novels include a mysterious lead who displays some level of raw masculinity that she literally cannot resist. Shifting from the romantic novel we can look towards music. The popular songs amongst women is typically about a high status man (see: the rich ass singer singing the song) who desires a girl that he just MUST have. Even on the flipside of things, when a woman is making music, Taylor Swift for example, it is about that man who got away, or the man she loved dearly but is no longer going to speak to, etc. Women make up large demographics who enjoy those styles of music because it appeals to a very selfish part of them, and that is being desired romantically.
When you as a man can be reflective of that desire that a woman feels when she listens to shitty Taylor Swift songs, or when she reads romantic novels, you will unlock something very special in her, and that is her true sexual nature. When a woman is unlocked in this way, you learn something profound: women love to fuck. When I speak to some gentlemen about a wholesome girl I convinced to try anal or pushed to have a threesome, they seem dumbfounded. “She didn’t seem like that type of girl” is the typical response I get. The thing is, this “type of girl” ideology is silly, because I am convinced that once I make a girl feel that lust associated with desire, after a bit of time, sexually, she will be whatever “type of girl” I want her to be. The truth is women find all sorts of sexual fantasies and oddities just as exciting as you do, but the more wholesome the girl the less likely she is going readily express this to you or the outside world.
An old high school crush of mine and I started talking years after I got over my fear of speaking to women. After awhile I had finally bedded her. Sleeping with her was when I really started to understand the true sexual nature of women. She was one of the wildest sexual partners I ever had, and afterwards I asked myself, “who did I just fuck?” I could have never imagined that she was into sex like she was when I was in high school. I used to think that only the less-wholesome women could fuck the way she did. She certainly still seemed wholesome. Obviously I pushed for a lot of crazy shit with her, but I realized after this that no matter what woman you are having sex with, once you have unlocked, she will respond sexually in ways you never imagined. Some men initially respond to women having the same sexual desires as men as being proof that they are all whores; I think that is a brash way of putting it. Instead, this is the secret about women that for me, made them that much more exciting.
The men who enjoyed sexual success in high school with an array of women did so because of their understanding of the true sexual nature of women. They knew that wholesome or not, any girl enjoyed the sexual exploration and perversions that they did. When I talk to my more conservative beta bitch boy friends about my sexual escapades, they respond in shock that a woman who they thought was “so nice” would partake in such a thing. These beta bitch boys have not unlocked their sexual partners, and will forever see women as something they deep down inside are not. Meanwhile guys like me who understand that women truly enjoy sexual experiences beyond missionary will continue to enjoy the sex life I want.
Way back when, when I was just a little Route Backwards, I tried this whole game thing. Yeah, that game thing that was about talking to women and hoping that with or without a bottle of whisky their toned legs would spread so your cock could bust it’s seed into the warm wet confines of a females reproductive organs. I have a slew of early game stories, that star me, my delicious friend Heineken, my cock and the women that my cock told me to talk to. However fine Gentleman Smoke reader, these stories are not without hurdles and failure, and are loaded with anti-game, but it is those hurdles and failures that brought me to being the person I am now, a gentleman of game. I will run this series of Early Game Adventures to highlight my failures as a means to understand common pitfalls many gentlemen have in game.
The Halloween Attempts
I had read bit and pieces of Double Your Dating at this point, and I would have been a freshly turned ninteen year old gentlemen here, but with my level of confidence at this point I was still stuck on the pedastalization of any woman who even looked at me, but turns out liquid courage said fuck you to the pedastal, and instead, said hello to awkward backhanded compliments.
It’s Halloween and I’m at this small, yet classy, little bar. I’m sipping on my delicious Heineken and situated in a high traffic seating spot that just so happens to have flocks of women coming and going. Some cute blonde females sit next to me, but her friend left for whatever reason friends leave their friends behind for, and as I’m trying to muster up the courage to say something witty to her (i.e. drink more Heineken), she beats me to the punch and asks me a question I don’t remember, it was something trivial but I was excited that female talked to me first, so I continued making small talk; I bored the fuck out of her and she left.
At this point I realized that failure was not that bad, and I had one too many pints of that delicious Heineken nectar, and I told myself I was going to really try hard with the next girl who sat near me. In Halloween spirit I look to the left of me and see a group of women walk in wearing skimpy Halloween outfits with some dressed as cats, and others dressed as slutty cops. How original. Of course, my beautiful choice of seating leads these women to sitting right beside me. The girl closest to me, who is dressed as a cat by the way, sits down and instantly starts looking through her phone. She is sipping a martini, it looks delicious. Instead of little RouteBackwards commenting on how delicious said martini is, and how he appreciates her fine taste in three dollar martinis, RouteBackwards Jr. instead awkwardly says, “Your costume is weird.” The trembling in RouteBackwards Jr.’s voice was the mark of an amateur, and her cat like instincts could smell Backward’s weakness, she looks disgusted, turns to her friend and then stares at the wall ahead of her and stently says, “Ok.” Little Backward’s is not a quitter though, no, he is a reflection of Heineken’s stumbling narrative, and Little Backwards chimes in quickly, “What are you supposed to be?” Cat lady looks noticably awkward and annoyed, she forcefully says, “an animal.” Backwards Jr is lost in a cloud of Heineken, and responds with the most charming response his alcohol flooded brain can think of, “What’s that?” She and her friends walk away.
Little Backwards kept drinking himself into a anti-game stupour for the rest of the night.
Things I Learned This Night:
– Don’t force interactions to the point of killing them. The issue I had at this point was always forcing conversation with the hopes that the girl would not leave. While some gentleman may disagree, it IS ok to force conversation IF you feel like you have not built a strong enough connection at the point that the conversation is going, but you do know there is a connection. In this case, there were no connections, other then mine to that delicious Heineken brew.
– Don’t be negative off the jump. With the second lady that I spoke to this night, I said a remark that was pretty rude. While it is easy to blame Heineken, which is absolutely delicious by the way, this is lame game that is only going to ruin your chances for future pussy access.
– Heineken is delicious, but also reeks of anti-game. Alcohol is a good game booster in certain situations, but for the most part, and especially at this point in my game, it will ruin your chances. I was not able to calibrate where alcohol fit best with my game at this point, so I was overdrinking in hopes of getting over approach anxiety, striking out, then refelcting on my strike out’s and concluding that I would never get good enough at game because all I could recall in my game experiences were drunken strike-outs. However, now, if I drink it’s to stay tipsy, and keep juggling that feelin. Back then though, and the same fate for many other RouteBackwards minded gentlemen, is to keep drinking until anxiety goes away, but with that feeling of anxiety disappearing, anti-game takes it’s place. Then again, I do love Heineken more than most women, so if you are content with Mr. Heineken, then by any means, stick to that delicious option.
FUCK BITCHES, DRINK HEINEKEN.
I’ve gotten quite a few emails over the passed two months and while not to be rude to the other gentlemen who emailed me, a lot of game issues you are having can be learned about by reading my prior posts (such as the arguing with women post… you know who you are sir), so I’m going to tend to the latest email I got as it happens to be more particular and a bit more of an abstract problem this gentleman is having (I have kept his information private of course).
MR. CHRIS’ EMAIL:
Yo GS, love the blog and have a question regarding a personal relationship of mine. A nice gal I met Monday has looked me up on facebook, although I never told her to (on a friday night no less). I met her monday night randomly, we walked around town and I escalated too quick, within 90 minutes of meeting her I was outside her apt trying to make out with her (a mistake I guess, although she did kiss me). I didn’t expect to hear from her though because she went home and didn’t invite me in. Actually told me to leave and that I was a ‘predator’. I said ‘what are you?’, she replied ‘a sheep, an innocent sheep’. i said ‘i like sheep…’ and she said get out.
Well sir, physically escalating early on is not always a bad thing. It is better to be more daring and bold then to not escalate at all, and it is better to be more daring and bold because it adds a level of excitement to the interaction that she is not expecting, especially early on, regardless of what you might think, females take boldness over blandness, and even if she was not feeling sexually aroused at that moment, as long as you were shameless about your bold approach she will hold you in high regards over the other bland gentlemen she encounters.
The only issue I see is over staying your welcome, and while the word predator seems quite harsh considering you seemed to have reciprocal sexual interactions (her kissing you back), this might have been her way of putting her last minute resistance to your sexual advances on over drive because she does indeed find you attractive but also realizes that you have only “just met her.” Now, unless she was pissed and said “GET OUT!” (which I’m not certain of) – and she was not call you a predator in a way that signified ‘eww creep,’ but ‘well then, you’re a predator huh?’ in a curious but slightly flirtatious way – then I’m certain you still have a chance, and that chance is contingent on whether or not you play your cards right. Just an additional thought as I repost my email, I personally find statements such as myself being a ‘predator’ to be incredibly rude, no matter who you are, so my response might have been a bit more harsh, such as “you’re one of those girls huh?” followed by me saying nothing more and walking away.
If she is truly offended by your sexual advances, and you will know this by her subsequent interactions and responses to how you act, then tell her that you are not normally like that and that you got carried away in the moment because you felt close to her in the moment.
Additionally, there is no definitive answer on how to not fuck it up because I am not there interacting with her myself and of course, there are far more variables to your interactions with her. However, I can tell you, play it slow, keep interest strong and absolutely do not apologize or half heartedly tell her that you are ‘not normally like that,’ unless all else fails.
Regardless, what can you lose? I understand she seems special, but so do other females, and if she’s not willing to see passed an entry level stumble that you feel you may or may not have made, then she was not so good for you after all, right?
Keep me posted, and I hope all works out for you sir.