When I started learning game I was convinced that in order to do my first approach that I needed to know every aspect of the interaction, down to the girls hand movements, before I could succeed. After reading book upon book, I finally did my first approach… It sucked and I even I told myself, “but you know every aspect of game, what women want, why did this go so bad?” It later realized that it was because I tried to stuff every single element of game into one interaction without actually having practiced any one of those elements individually.
This is when I started to learn game naturally. I would approach women, almost ignoring my pick up teachings, and hope for the best. Then, if something did not work, I would look to pick up books to help me iron those issues out and would slowly add that element to my arsenal if I felt it worked. I no longer treated pick up books as bibles, but more like shared experiences that other gentlemen have had, and if I felt that an element (opener or behavior) I learned from the book fit my personality, then I would use it.
New gentleman to game often times glorify one pick up artists and feel as if they owe their livelihood to that method of game. There is some merit to this as some gentlemen do experience success, but that very success is hollow. The system is only a system, and they simply become a cog in making it work. They do not find fulfillment in the end because their true nature, whether that be a nerd who loves programming or a gentleman who obsesses over chess, is hidden behind a mask. They are only projecting a show for women, and not projecting the core of themselves.
True confidence will derive from you learning things on your own, taking risks on your own and ultimately not being afraid of who you are as a person. Some gentlemen will rag on you, some women will laugh at you, but the only thing that matters here is how you handle it. Do not hide your interests because a woman thinks that is lame, or because your man friend tells you it is not attractive, but embrace it and embrace it whole-heartedly and people will respect you for it. Now, the irony here is that you will gain some confidence from the new found knowledge you have gained in reading pick up articles/books, and I myself preach certain elements, but you should only take these elements if they fit the core of who you are as a person.
When I meet a girl I do not focus on displaying higher value, I do not focus on if she is sending me indicators of interest, but I focus on stimulating conversation and reflect on how I would have displayed higher value or gotten her to be more interested later. If you saw my game in action you would think it is pretty straight forward, and I have been accused of only getting successes with women because of my looks. That is far from the truth. All I do is project myself in a confident manner, and women like that. When you do not adhere to a script, you learn game organically and naturally, and to some degree you are forced to put your personality into it, because your personality is all you have to fall back on; not canned scripts. That honesty helps you build not only confidence, but game.
This is not a write-up to take away from great gentlemen of game, because there are certainly excellent methods out there to getting successes with women, but when you turn those pick up teachings into an all-you-have ideology, then you are losing sight of yourself and your game will only fulfill a script, and not who you are as a person.
Try this, approach without a goal in mind, just try approaching without using canned materials or systems you have seen on YouTube, and say whatever comes to mind. What’s up is even a suitable opener in this case. You will be on your own for this approach, and you might say things you are not used to, but here you will find honesty and through honesty you will feel a sense of fulfillment that is beyond the core of masking your true self.