I will attend night clubs when my other options are shot for the night, or because my friends have found themselves attracted to these particular venues for the night, but as a gentleman who does enjoy banging women, I would say that I have probably picked up two women in all my time going to night clubs. The pick up culture has this over-exaggerated view of how powerful it is to learn their tricks and then go into night clubs and use said tricks. I believe most worthwhile men who have built interesting lifestyles usually avoid nightclubs if they are looking to get laid simply because all your life experiences cannot be conveyed in an environment too loud and dark to display them.
As much as a girl might get vagina tingles at your push and pull techniques, those techniques do not work when the music is so loud she is blankly nodding in hopes you’ll fuck off. In addition, a lot of women automatically engage in deflecting anyone who approaches them no matter who they are in a night club; I assume this to be some ego thing for them. At this stage in my life, I do not care any-more to dedicate energy in trying to overcome women’s deflections, and simply disengage all together by keeping my approaches at a minimal in night clubs. I would prefer to talk to women in an environment where they are receptive to stimulation beyond EDM and party favours.
Simply, unless you are high energy as fuck and willing to be over-persistent, night clubs are a poor venue to get dates/bangs from. The issue with pick up is that many guys who go into it are not at their core these superfluous party animals, and those who act this way going into pick up material probably do so to over compensate for their lack of self worth (no research on this, just anecdotal observation). That is not to say that you cannot get laid at a night club, but unless you’re willing to put in an insane amount of energy (that is often hampered by alcohol consumption), your chances of getting laid are slim.
Now, there are gentlemen who excel at club game. As I said above, being high energy and over persistent works quite well in the club arena, and a slew of respect goes out to gentlemen who can pull doing this. My argument however is that clubs make poor venues for the gentlemen who do not want to follow this over-the-top narrative. Keep in mind the principle of contrast, and how standing out equates to status. Clubs assume a lot, it is assumed that men will generally go to these places to pick up women, and women and men come to expect this narrative as being normal. Unless you are playing the numbers game quite closely, chances are most women will assume you are like every other single male going the club, and thus you do not stand out from any other male there; poor contrast. However, when you approach women with more direct appraisals in more casual contexts, even laid back bars or house parties, women are less expecting of this and in turn look at you as standing out from most men; high contrast. You lose a lot of contrast going to night clubs.
My counter-venue to clubs are simple: house parties. House parties are the best venues for getting laid. You can talk, you can effectively work the room, and women are not naturally expecting men to approach them sexually (like they often are at a night club), and If all else fails, you can lay back and have interesting discussions with others on an array of topics. Night clubs lack all of these variables.
The second alternative to house parties are lounge bars. While they do carry some of the preconceived notions that clubs do (you’re just there to get laid), you must keep in mind that the women who stick around at these places are often looking for some level of stimulating conversation, so even if their guard is up about your sexual intentions, you can still prove yourself by conveying your interesting persona.
This was originally a post of mine on another gentleman’s blog, but I thought this was a worthwhile topic to discuss since I see a large portion of the manosphere still dedicated to club game. In addition, I have edited and added to this post as I see fit.
Awhile back a gentleman I am close with told me he completely quit watching porn. I kind of laughed, in a way that asserted he was being a pussy, and asked him why? He explained that porn was killing his motivation and ability to get things done. I quickly recollected all of the things I had been accomplishing and doing and dismissed his claim, and just assumed this was a scapegoat for his own laziness. I whole-heartedly believed that I was right to resume watching porn, masturbate, and through the process try to accomplish my normal business as usual until I reflected and realized I was only accomplishing the bare minimum. I would sell drugs, read game material, work on a bit of artwork and most of all masturbate to porn. I was convinced because I was on my way to college that this was ok, and that I might as well enjoy all the free porn out there… even though during my indulgence in porn, I was fantasizing about fucking a real woman. To be fair, I would go out at night and I would approach women, but it was always forced and it was the way I convinced myself that all my time spent reading game material was not wasted. Until I saw no results.
Then I spent a week out of town at my close cousins. I was always in the way of someone and rarely did I have any alone time here. I could not masturbate. At first it was excruciating, I felt animalistic, like I HAD to release… but I could not. My cousin and I ended up attending a night club, and for the first time ever I did not feel like I had to approach, but that I NEEDED to approach. I was truly motivated, and being sexual with a woman felt natural almost. My results were beautiful and for the first time I felt like I effortlessly grabbed a number from a girl. It was different from the feeling of struggling and hoping that a girl would accept my seduction rather then her falling into it from my pure masculinity.
There are a lot of gentleman like myself who stumble into pick up and understand it, but rarely apply it because to some degree they feel sexually satisfied. Porn will satisfy you sexually, but not in the way that a petite blond with big lips and a nice ass will when she is riding your cock. Porn will satisfy your sexual hunger just enough so you do not approach and will have you rationalizing that you just were not in “state” to approach in the first place, but that you will be next time, regardless of the fact that you will regret it the second you put a porn film on.
When you masturbate so frequently your built up testosterone simmers down, and your testosterone is what gives you your masculine urges and determination to do great things. When my gentleman friend quit watching porn and in turn calmed down masturbating, he for the first time in his life experienced successes with women, and this was without him learning game, but out of his desire to want women that came naturally when you have all that pent up testosterone.
It seems some sectors of the manosphere have been ok with the idea of porn as long as it is not stifling your game. I disagree and fully believe that game theorists and practitioners need to place a greater emphasis on not watching porn and not masturbating, and while I know a lot of gentleman of game have said this, I think this focus on no-porn/no-masturbation alone is a bigger motivation for gentleman to approach woman than the conventional inner-game changing ideologies that I see floating around . Not to say that most gentleman of game do not advocate the no-masturbation-porn approach, but I would argue that a lack of motivation in some sectors of the manosphere community derives from the easily access of porn on the internet.
Now one can take from this that masturbation, not porn, is the culprit. I disagree. By being able to see women naked so easily, the thrill of the hunt is somewhat gone. You go straight from them being there in a school girl outfit to being undressed and fed some gentleman’s cock all within the span of ten minutes. A seduction takes a bit longer than that, but if you are able to get the same result, and that is a woman undressed and fucking (minus the real physical connection), then psychologically why would you as a man seek out the same thing in real life? Especially since you can do something incredibly similar all on your own in the comfort of your masturbation den.
However, by removing yourself from the readily available streams of porn on the internet, you will now give yourself more determination to want to de-clothe and fuck a girl in real life since you are not getting that constant image easily like you did when you took to the internet. In turn, taking action to get a girl sexual is no longer a mouse click away, but it is now a principle of opening your mouth and actively sexualizing a woman.
For beginners, and gentleman who are struggling with a momentum of approaches, remove yourself from masturbation and remove yourself from porn. As my gentleman-friend would attest, quitting porn was the single-biggest game changer for him when it came to women. Also, look at it this way, McDonalds offers our primitive side the same caloric intake that a freshly hunted deer would, but as early humans we were unable to constantly eat meat so it became a commodity we lusted after. With modern society though, we still have primitive urges such as eating high calorie meats, and due to excess we can satisfy that urge through something like McDonalds. Doing it all the time however results in one getting unhealthy and fat, and you must remember, we did NOT eat high calorie meals all the time because we could not, but we did crave them. Porn is the exact same thing. We want to have sex all the time, but due to hunting or work, we cannot. Porn however, offers that fulfillment any time we get a spare chance to be alone.
Do not turn sex into a McDonalds, but savor it like a fine wine that is to be enjoyed after a hard days work. Seduction is work, but testosterone is the tool belt that makes that work possible.