I’ve gotten quite a few emails over the passed two months and while not to be rude to the other gentlemen who emailed me, a lot of game issues you are having can be learned about by reading my prior posts (such as the arguing with women post… you know who you are sir), so I’m going to tend to the latest email I got as it happens to be more particular and a bit more of an abstract problem this gentleman is having (I have kept his information private of course).
MR. CHRIS’ EMAIL:
Yo GS, love the blog and have a question regarding a personal relationship of mine. A nice gal I met Monday has looked me up on facebook, although I never told her to (on a friday night no less). I met her monday night randomly, we walked around town and I escalated too quick, within 90 minutes of meeting her I was outside her apt trying to make out with her (a mistake I guess, although she did kiss me). I didn’t expect to hear from her though because she went home and didn’t invite me in. Actually told me to leave and that I was a ‘predator’. I said ‘what are you?’, she replied ‘a sheep, an innocent sheep’. i said ‘i like sheep…’ and she said get out.
Well sir, physically escalating early on is not always a bad thing. It is better to be more daring and bold then to not escalate at all, and it is better to be more daring and bold because it adds a level of excitement to the interaction that she is not expecting, especially early on, regardless of what you might think, females take boldness over blandness, and even if she was not feeling sexually aroused at that moment, as long as you were shameless about your bold approach she will hold you in high regards over the other bland gentlemen she encounters.
The only issue I see is over staying your welcome, and while the word predator seems quite harsh considering you seemed to have reciprocal sexual interactions (her kissing you back), this might have been her way of putting her last minute resistance to your sexual advances on over drive because she does indeed find you attractive but also realizes that you have only “just met her.” Now, unless she was pissed and said “GET OUT!” (which I’m not certain of) – and she was not call you a predator in a way that signified ‘eww creep,’ but ‘well then, you’re a predator huh?’ in a curious but slightly flirtatious way – then I’m certain you still have a chance, and that chance is contingent on whether or not you play your cards right. Just an additional thought as I repost my email, I personally find statements such as myself being a ‘predator’ to be incredibly rude, no matter who you are, so my response might have been a bit more harsh, such as “you’re one of those girls huh?” followed by me saying nothing more and walking away.
If she is truly offended by your sexual advances, and you will know this by her subsequent interactions and responses to how you act, then tell her that you are not normally like that and that you got carried away in the moment because you felt close to her in the moment.
Additionally, there is no definitive answer on how to not fuck it up because I am not there interacting with her myself and of course, there are far more variables to your interactions with her. However, I can tell you, play it slow, keep interest strong and absolutely do not apologize or half heartedly tell her that you are ‘not normally like that,’ unless all else fails.
Regardless, what can you lose? I understand she seems special, but so do other females, and if she’s not willing to see passed an entry level stumble that you feel you may or may not have made, then she was not so good for you after all, right?
Keep me posted, and I hope all works out for you sir.
Women who argue with you are in some way shit testing you. Your dear girlfriend, weird female friend or sweet little co-worker, are all shit testing you when they argue. They are seeing if you are up to snuff. Seeing if they can demonstrate some control over you, or if you care. The issue when women argue with men is that they enter the realm of intellectual debate, and most men want to believe that we can equally argue with other women because on the outset they appear to have the same mental workings that they do. Sadly, once you start to learn more about women, or deal with more women, you will realize that women are only as strong as their beliefs, and men – most men any-ways – are only as strong as the knowledge they have gained. If a woman believes something to be true, despite the fact that she is presented with the facts, she will still believe what she believes to be true by only seeing what she wants to. How does a man (you) of high intelligence, great looks and gentleman charm overcome a woman when she argues with your flawless logic?
Argue Once and Move On
When a woman starts arguing, and lets say said woman argues with something you feel passionately about and are overly knowledgeable about, you should state your argument once and move the fuck on. Why do this and not continue arguing with her? Well, like I said in my opening sentences, women only believe what they want to believe. However, a great side stepping method of showing her that you do not consider her your level intellectually is to state your argument once and if she responds with something to argue your great points, ignore her by saying “Ok, anyways *insert conversation topic of choice here.*” Gold. Many gentlemen new to game however, find this method a bit tricky as they are still learning to control their emotions and when a argument shifts to being heated in the slightest they might take the bait and continue to argue. I would argue (aha!) that this method of argue-avoidance should be used by gentlemen with a good baseline level of confidence.
Do Not Take Her Arguments Seriously
Say your date will not shut the fuck up about how it is awful that you like to eat delicious steak and that all animals are beautiful or something, deflect everything she says by responding to her animals-are-humans-too arguments by saying shit like, “Definitely, I think Cattle should have the same rights as you and me, plus, imagine how hilarious it would be if they wore tuxedos.” Retarded I know, but that sort of shit will keep her pussy wet and if she keeps going on or worse, gets offended, simply say to her, “Let’s drop the topic, besides, I wanted to ask you why you wear such expressive colors? How long have you been an artist for?” Now, notice here, that I’ve used “why,” and I cold read her ass. This shit does two things: Shows her that her arguing is fucking lame and that you really don’t care (dynamite for her pussy), and it will get her thinking that you are very perceptive and are able to challenge her. Nice.
If she keeps arguing, challenge her with the super-handy “why” tool, or as I like to call it, play therapist. Just keep asking her why she feels that way about whatever she is arguing. You will not realize it, but when you pull the why card in an argument, you make her submit to you subconsciously because she has to justify every word she says to you and that is a form of verbal domination on your part. “I believe that any man who does not like feminism is stupid” she might say, to which you respond, “Why do you feel that way about men who do not like feminism?” Rinse, and repeat boys.
Ignore Arguing All Together
If a argument thread pops up at all, simply ignore it by responding, “Yeah, I do not know,” but make sure you quickly follow said statement by something more interesting then what you guys were already talking about. Simple, I know. If she persists, well, reffer to the “Do Not Take Her Arguments Seriously” section.
Arguing is an issue I used to have when I embarked on my journey to become a better man. However, through observation and teachings of other gentlemen of game I learned to navigate this aspect of social relations. In turn, I learned as well how to handle arguing females, and in a climate where women want to be as masculine as possible, you are bound to find females who will try to argue your masculine knowledge.
I hope this helps you gentlemen.
Happy gaming boys.
Over at the Roosh V Forums there has been much discussion about the drug Theanine, and their own experiences. It sounded interesting enough, and upon some Google-based research it did not seem to have any negative side effects. So I mustered up twenty-hard earned dollars and went down to the GNC and bought generic a brand L-Theanine. For those who do not know what Theanine is, Theanine is supposed to promote relaxation, stop anxiety and make you feel all around good; preliminary research supports Theanine having said effects as well.
So after reading all the pro-theanine write ups on the internet, and all of the gentlemen who seem to claim benefit as a result of theanine, Mr. Backwards decided to take the plunge himself.
I started small, just out of my natural fear of drugs being more powerful than they usually are, and popped 100 milligrams worth of Theanine. Within a half an hour or so, I felt a sense of calm and great focus. The high felt similar to the lack of inhibition I felt during drinking, minus the actual negative effects that come with drunkenness.
I must add, I did drink a cup of coffee with the 100 milligrams I took. I also drank alcohol about an hour later, which to my surprise, it felt harder to get drunk, and when I was hitting the stage of drunkenness, I felt more alert. However, I did get intoxicated to the point of incoherency later into the night…
I woke up with a shitty hang over, but for the fuck of it, I decided to try some Theanine. This time I took 200 milligrams, and drank two cups of coffee. Instantly I felt a lot better. It almost felt like I never drank the night before. Dope. The high however, did not feel as intense as the first day I took Theanine, but I still felt similar effects.
I took another 200 milligrams, and I went to a bar – minus the drinking – around 9-10 PM and made a couple approaches. I did not feel anxious during these interactions, but in a weird way, the calmness I felt almost pushed me away from being motivated enough to care about speaking to these women. I was content hanging out with gentlemen around me, or speaking to the construction gentlemen occupying the bar, than I was with actively trying to get laid.
I took 200 milligrams of Theanine in the afternoon, and decided to sit down and work on some music. I spent two hours or so working on music, but it felt like ten minutes. The work was not sloppy either, but incredibly focused and some of the best I’ve done in awhile. Nice.
I went out for a walk after, and made a couple approaches on my way to the bank. I felt very confident and calm, and did not worry about the results as much as I normally do. Grabbed a number. Nice.
Theanine DOES do the things most people claim, but I would argue, if you have awful social anxiety, are a boring person or simply do not have motivation to approach women, this drug will not change any of that. I think Theanine is just a good social booster for those who have average to good social skills already, and for those nights I do not feel like drinking to be social, Theanine is a good alternative. If you still have a lack of social skills and general anxiety about basic issues in your life, while I think Theanine will help, my experience has lead me to feel like the high is not powerful enough that it will stop an underlying social issues you have all together like some pro-theaniner’s would have you believe.
I have covered openers and the philosophies behind talking to women in the bulk of my writing, but what do you do mid-game? Sure the vibes are going well, but how can you turn it up a notch and make that interaction fun and eventually sexual? Well, I like to play juvenile games and treat the interaction as a matter of self amusement. I bet the gentleman of game inside you is getting giddy much like the females I use these games on do, so I bet you’re asking,”Mr. Backwards, what games do I play? How do I stay self amused?”
Note: Just because I’m the best, I’ve underlined when I start talking about said game. Love you guys. No homo.
I always like to start my games with a preliminary question, like, “you should chug your drink,” to which she responds, “I don’t know” and then you respond, “I’ll rock, paper, scissors you for it, If you win, I have to chug, If I win, you have to chug!” and you hold your fist up and look her directly in the eyes. Strong body language is key here, and NEVER back down with your game request; any girl who does not want to be playful with you, especially during something so juvenile like rock, paper, scissors, is not worth your time. Seriously. Any-ways once you have her playing it she’ll be laughing, and if she does win, tell her you’re using international rules and that it’s best of three. Chug or not, I usually play this and make more requests until it gets gradually more sexual. “If I win this game, you have to make out with me.” I’m a pretty damn good rock, paper, scissors player, but lets say I do lose, which in the rarest of occasions I have, I’ll say “Even though you cheated, I still want my kiss” and move in for it anyway. Sweet. Keep in mind, don’t be playing these games and suddenly shift to “LETS MAKE OUT,” start with basic questions, or requests, and then build your way up. I usually get her primed for my beautiful make out session by asking her sexual questions “If I win, you tell me the first guy you ever kissed, if you win, you can pick a super personal question about me!” and keep going until the stakes get higher, and higher.
Alternatively, I love to have thumb wars. This is good because you get her close to you with her hand grabbing your hand, and the playfulness of this game gets her feeling vibes of you being boyfriend material, and boyfriend material means your cock will be in her in no time. In addition to both games, a good conversational builder is truth or dare. Keep in mind, some more daring women will try to dare you into ridiculous things, which may or may not be your cup of tea, but in that case set preliminary rules or dare her to do even more ridiculous shit in return. I have the most fun with truth or dare a lone with a chick when she’s on my couch, but if you’re really outgoing, playing truth or dare at a bar can be exciting and a quick route to getting her on your cock.
In the event you encounter a “I’m a really strong person” type of feminist chick, I always challenge her to an arm wrestle. Obviously I’ll dominate her, and granted you’re not one-hundred and twenty pounds you will to, and it’s funny and subconsciously gets her thinking about how strong you are, which is a manly trait and manly traits = sex appeal. This is a lesser game, and I suggest only pulling this out if the girl is constantly trying to act like a man, but it’s fun and gets the vibes going.
Lastly, all these games should never be taken serious and should serve as self amusement. If you are taking these games beyond “this is stupid fourth grade fun” then you’re doing it wrong and stepping into a realm of being lame in her eyes. Laugh at the stupidity of it, but stand your ground when playing it. Girls who play these games know they’re stupid, but the stupid fun they have with them gets them feeling closer and connected to you and look at you as their go-to guy for excitement. The best part about little games like this is that even if you do not know how to be incredibly exciting, these can fill that void and will get her feeling like you are exciting.
Always keep in mind, when you play childish games and do it from a place of self amusement, you turn the game into a game, and not only will you have fun, but so will she and that’s the route needed to part her pussy.
Many gentlemen who are just entering game often ask me “what do I say?” or, “I can say something witty at first, but then I don’t know what to say? Where do I go from there?” I think one of the biggest issues I always had with learning game, was because game changed my outlook on things, I wanted to follow these complicated conversational systems (Mystery, Juggler, etc.) and did not want to go off track because I had so much faith in those systems. The issue with trying to memorize these conversational patterns is that in the heat of the moment you are not able to easily recall your pre-memorized story, or magic sentence that you were told will get her to make out with you. So with that being said, what do CAN and SHOULD you do?
You Can Open With Anything
Let us start with the opener. When I first started this whole talking to women thing, I had many canned openers, and they were effective, but they weren’t reflective of me as a person. So, I go to the Pick Up Artist Forums and I ask some gentlemen other alternatives to the standard canned approach hoping that I will be thrown a golden all-in-wonder line… Many of the older gentlemen said, “It does not matter, you can open with anything.” At the time I did not know what “opening with anything” meant because I believed human interactions followed such a linear process and that surely something stupid or out of the norm would not work… Until one drunken night I told a girl she was sexy as fuck and pulled her into a make out soon after. The high I got from being able to open so easy really got me into a “I don’t give a fuck what I say” zone that night and I tried other things. Remember: even if what you say after the initial opener does not match it’s content, as long as you can get her attention in the first place, she will respond positively throughout your interaction. Another example of what I use is, “He… Ho… Ar… Yo…?” I half say the word and hold my hand out ready to shake hers. She usually stares at me looking puzzled, but every time I’ve used this opener, it has grabbed a woman’s attention. If you are not feeling creative, then simply use “Hi.” that yields similar results.
Summary: Anything that comes to your mind when seeing a woman qualifies as a good opener. If you cannot think of anything, hit her with something simple like “Hi.”
Interview Questions Are Not All That Bad (Be Ridiculous)
What I am about to say is slightly dangerous, but bare with me. In a lot of pick up circles and even in popular mainstream media you hear dating experts telling you not to ask standard first date or general interview questions. That is true to an extent. However, I fall back on interview questions more often than not, and I make them work. How? Well, I turn it into a humorous “I don’t take you serious” question process. Where-as most gentlemen will ask, “So what do you do for a living?” and the girl will respond with “I work at a coffee house,” I’ll use this structure and make it funny. How do I do this? Instead of being a beta bitch boy who dries up vaginas by responding with a standard line like “do you like it?” type of response I twist it around and turn the whole question into a playful vibe-building joke. So, with that being said, I would respond with “Do you work at the coffee times down the street? Because I’m pretty sure you spilt coffee on me last time I went in,” followed by a cocky smile of course. She will probably laugh and give you a “No!” response, to which you continue being playful and call her an ass-hole, etc. etc. sex.
Summary: Always look for the absurd in her responses and do not be afraid to confidently throw those absurd thoughts at her.
The Power Of “Why?”
Many gentlemen of game preach that you should challenge women. The idea of challenging women however, is quite simple. ALWAYS ask why. Even for menial shit, asking WHY she does things forces her to actually be critical of herself and in a subconscious way she now has to prove herself to you making you the more valuable person in the interaction. So, continuing from my last example, after teasing her about spilling coffee on you, ask her, “Why do you work at a coffee house?” It’s that simple fellows, and If you are feeling more daring, then be ridiculous and say “Why do you work at a coffee house? Other than to fulfil your sick fantasy of spilling coffee on attractive men…” Of course, I don’t advise trailing off your question that often, but it adds a nice comical touch to your conversation and builds and spreads great vibes. Another example I can use of a good why question is “Why are you out tonight?” or after she has told me why she likes a particular drink ask her, “Why do you like drinking so much hard liquor?” These are basic why questions and are excellent starting points, and they will most definitely push the girl into your favour.
Summary: ALWAYS ask a girl why, “Why do you wear such vibrant clothing?” “Why do you study kinesiology?” “Why are you so cold to people who are cooler than you?” etc. etc. sex.
Conversation should not be forced like some pick up gentleman may have you believe, but it should feel natural and mutually good for you and the female you are speaking to. These three conversational rules are far easier than reciting canned responses to women, and I can say with confidence these all work towards giving you good grounding when speaking to a woman or group of women. As always, I do not suggest tackling every single variable of this article at once, but to go out and try as much of it as you can until it works for you.
Many gentlemen you will approach women with or in front of will look at getting a number as the pinnacle of what you can get in a given night. I prefer same-night lays, but a number is nothing to laugh at. The only difference between getting laid that night, and getting the number that night is that you are deferring your chances to get laid to another night. Which is fine, but it also means more work. Many gentlemen I know will get a number and, quoting directly, say that they, “have it” and then tell me a week later that the girl they texted is “all games” and just “playing around.” To which I say, “no sir, you invested too much in texting.”
It, sadly, has become socially acceptable for women to text over calling. In my early days of getting no-where-numbers, numbers that failed to yield any ass, I did what any gentleman of game would do and look to pick up guides. A lot of the guides are excellent in that they address a lot of great ways to get the conversations started, but they fail to address what I had to learn the hard way… Investment.
I figured that because I had charming witticisms, and comical comebacks that the vibe would be good and she would be primed and ready to go on a date. I was mistaken. Where did I go wrong? I would text too soon after she texted me, and I would send massive, but charming, text messages, and she would only respond with “hahaha.” I became the girls court jester.
So how does one fix this?
When you are texting a girl, NEVER text her as quick as she does, ALWAYS take longer to text her, and occasionally after the conversation is flowing between you two, text her two hours later in response to one of her texts, and then sometimes not at all.
2. Don’t Over-Charm
I would say for every ten texts you send, two of them should be overly charming and the rest should be normal average texts. When you over charm you risk looking like a clown and she puts you into the try-hard category.
3. One Word Answers
Think to yourself how much frustration you have gotten from you sending a massive message to someone and they respond, “yeah” or “I dunno” and how much that drove you crazy? Be that person. This sort of response keeps a girl guessing, and couple that with your timing and the occasional charming response, you’ve literally hit her with dynamite. However, don’t over do this or else you risk seeming like you are unattainable to her.
4. Don’t Ask Her Out Too Soon
Sure the vibe is great, and she seems to really like you, but it’s only been four days since you’ve gotten her number. Most women assume you are going to ask them out, which is true, but you have to start getting her to doubt herself. In a way you are reversing the role of her playing games, into you using her for self amusement, and she will pick up on that and wonder then if you are going to ever ask her out. If it has been less than a week (unless she is explicitly texting you to meet) then do not ask her out. Otherwise, I would text her over the course of a week and bit until you start feeling like she’s feeling a bit awkward that you haven’t asked her out, and text for a little while longer. Then casually slip in, like it’s an afterthought, that you would like to hang out with her.
All of those points, if followed correctly, show an active disinterest with a dash of “maybe he likes me??” Even though you ARE actively texting, she will get the vibe that you are not investing too much in the interaction and that will separate you from the rest of the men who text her like beta-bitch-boys. Also, I know this point was already covered but I want to over-stress the fact that timing is key. If you feel like you are texting too much, cut her off temporarily, and don’t be afraid to stop texting for a couple of days, and always remember that the MORE you text the lower your value is to her. Texting is a power dynamic, and for the most part, women have this power over the majority of men. They silently dictate the rules of texting, and many men fall trap to this game, but with timing, charm, and aloofness, you can escape this trap and fuck them senseless.
Happy texting gentlemen.